I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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