zippers are such a cool invention
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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