Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
