Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
