So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
