So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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