His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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