JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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