you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
