Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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