she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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