just survived the first fart of the relationship.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
