i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
