My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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