You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
