hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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