Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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