what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
