# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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