Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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