If that was your dad, he is hot
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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