dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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