I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
