Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
