Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
