Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
