Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize