i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
