i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
lol hangovers are for mortals.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
