She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
