Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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