return my video game
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
