the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
