i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
