How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
