She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
