Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
