Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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