UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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