glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
