this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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