... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
