i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
