Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
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