Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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