I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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