so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Is Oprah even human
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
