State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Best friends brother. Beat that.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
