i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
