tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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