Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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