I want to stick my p in your. b.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Sober January is a disaster.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
