I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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