Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize