she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
