So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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