As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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