sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
