just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
