Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
