where does the pee come out of this thing
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
