I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
