i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize